Domestic Abuse:  

A page for victims, survivors and those wanting to help

“Speak up for people who cannot speak for themselves.
Protect the rights of all who are helpless.
Speak for them and be a righteous judge.
Protect the rights of the poor and needy.”
Proverbs 31:8-9

As part of our commitment to Safeguarding, we want to support those who are victims and survivors of Domestic Abuse. If you are concerned about yourself or someone you know, please do speak to our Safeguarding Team. You can speak to us in person, or feel free to email us on safeguarding@trinitychurchbuxton.org.uk.

Throughout this web page, every time you see something underlined, it’s a web link to that particular web site or resource.

 

What is Domestic Abuse?

The UK Government uses this definition to explain what Domestic Abuse is:

"Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members  regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass, but is not limited to, the following types of abuse:
• psychological
• physical
• sexual
• financial
• emotional

Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour is: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim."

We recognise that Domestic Abuse happens within the church too. It is not an 'out there' problem.

 

How to spot Domestic Abuse

The NHS website has a really helpful list of questions to help you spot whether you, or someone you know, is experiencing Domestic Abuse.

 

In an emergency you should call 999

If it’s safe for you to talk, ask to speak to the Police.

If it’s not safe for you to talk:

• and you’re calling on a mobile, you’ll hear a 20 second message and then press 55 to be put through to the police. The police call handler will attempt to communicate with you by asking simple yes or no questions. Pressing 55 doesn’t allow police to track your location.
• and you’re calling on a landline, if there’s no request for an emergency, you don’t answer any questions and only background noise is heard you will be connected to a police call handler as doubt exists. 999 calls from landline gives call handlers information as to where you’re calling from.
• you can also text 999 if you have already registered your phone. To register, text the word 'register' to 999 and follow the instructions.

If you live in Derbyshire, you can report Domestic Abuse to the police using this link. 

 

National Services

for women

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline, 24 hour, 0808 2000 247
• Refuge includes a live chat function, 3.00pm-10.00pm
• Women’s Aid includes a live chat function, 8.00am (weekdays) or 10.00am (weekends) til 6.00pm
• Restored (mainly for Christian women, lots of resources including a Facebook group, mailing list and handbook for survivors/victims of domestic abuse.)

for men

• Respect, helpline: 0808 8010327 Monday-Friday 10.00am-5.00pm and live chat Wednesdays 10.00am-11.30am or Thursdays 2.00pm-4.00pm
• Mankind, helpline 01823 334244 Monday-Friday 10.00am-4.00pm

for perpetrators

• Respect Phoneline, 0808 8024040 Monday-Friday 10.00am-5.00pm and live chat Thursdays 2.00pm-4.00pm

Local Services

• Crossroads Derbyshire offer a range of confidential support and advisory services to women, men, children and young people suffering the damaging effects of domestic abuse.
• Derbyshire Domestic Abuse Support line. You can phone 08000 198 668 (or text 07534 617252) and someone close by will offer help.
• The Elm Foundation (based in Chesterfield) provide a range of services and much-needed support to any man, woman or child affected by domestic abuse.

Resources

for those seeking help

• The Survivor's Handbook by Restored is an excellent resource. It is free for victims/survivors of Domestic Abuse and you can request a paper copy or PDF version.
• The Survivor’s Handbook  by Women’s Aid is an online resource.
• The Freedom Programme is a domestic violence programme and can be done online or you can join a local group.
• For those who have had the Bible used against them, Helen Paynter has written an excellent book called 'The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So: Why you don’t have to submit to domestic abuse and coercive control'.

for those seeking to help others

• The Church of England offers an excellent course in Raising Awareness and Responding well to Domestic Abuse.
• Book: Walking with Domestic Abuse Sufferers by Helen Thorne.

Other resources

• Safe Spaces. If you need a safe space to access information or to make a phone call, UK Says No More is working with pharmacies and other businesses to provide safe spaces for people experiencing domestic abuse. Locally, you can go to the healthcare counter (or main counter in a bank) and ask to use their Safe Space. Our local Safe Spaces are: Buxton: Peak Pharmacy, TSB, Nationwide, Boots, Superdrug. Chapel-en-le-Frith: Peak Pharmacy. Chinley: Peak Pharmacy. Bakewell: Boots.
• Ask for ANI (Action Needed Immediately): You can also ‘Ask for Ani’ in any pharmacy displaying as ‘Ask for Ani’ poster e.g. Lloyds Pharmacy on Temple Road.
• Rights of Women aim to provide women with the legal advice and information they need to understand and use the law and their legal rights. We also work to improve the law for women and increase women’s access to justice.
• The National Centre for Domestic Violence was established to give free legal help to survivors of domestic violence and abuse to help them obtain protection against an abuser, as well as offering services to the police, probation service, domestic abuse agency workers, the legal profession and judiciary. 
• Domestic Violence Assist is the UK's only registered charity specialising in arranging Non-Molestation Orders, Prohibited Steps Orders & Occupation Orders.
• Surviving Economic Abuse is the only UK charity dedicated to raising awareness of economic abuse and transforming responses to it. We work day in, day out to ensure that women are supported not only to survive, but also to thrive.
• The Domestic Abuse Commissioner, Nicole Jacobs, is an independent voice that speaks on behalf of victims and survivors. The Commissioner will use her statutory powers, which are set out in the Domestic Abuse Bill, to raise public awareness and hold both agencies and government to account in tackling domestic abuse.